Cant sleep!!!

Its been a while now that my sleeping patterns are so erratic... every time I try to close my eyes my brains would fill my mind with thoughts that I cant help but stop. I try to dig deeper is it because of boredom or circumstances... I thought hard and all I could do to put a remedy on my sleepless nights is to ponder on it through writing. So here I am writing and hoping that it would let me keep my mind off of things I shouldn't worry about.

Please bare with me as I de-clutter this fragile mind of mine... First things first... I hate the feeling of being useless... but I must admit I enjoyed the first few months of being a bum and I even plan on continuing it. I know that I can be useful but I just don't know how? 

Second on my list is my stability... financial and emotional stability. We're not rich but we can manage somehow but me being practical would really help a lot...would I choose something I want over something that I need? would I go for money or peace of mind? 

Third... the cards that we're laid in front of me... the options. should I go for something that I know would make me happy rather than something that would keep me going? 

Fourth... readiness level... am I ready for something big? am I willing to make a sacrifice? Could I do it confidently?

those are the things that sprung every time I close my freaking eyes... Don't get me wrong but I know for a fact that I can do it... I can master my fears but it's just that it keeps on pestering my sleep LOL. 

Anyway, tomorrow is a hectic day for me and I really need to sleep so let me end my day with a prayer...

Dear God,

First and foremost I would like to thank You heavenly Father for the graces you shared with me and my family... the blessings that you showered upon us, Your guidance that helped us day by day... I Thank You. I thank You for the friends that you gave us, The friends that never failed to understand us, never failed to remember us not only on our darkest hour but even on our shinning moments... I thank You for all the opportunity that surrounds us... the lessons that we learned on each and every road we traveled on... I thank You for that!!!

I am sorry for every misdemeanor... every bad decisions... every bitchy word or act that came forth... I am truly sorry for that.I am very sorry for disregarding your signs and almost giving up when I haven't fought a good fight yet... I am very sorry for that. I am truly sorry!!!

Heavenly Father, Please continue to guide us... make us strong and confident to arm us against the trials laid upon our feet... be with us as we trample on each and every hardship... Shower us with your knowledge to help us decide on which road we will take. 

Thank You for everything.

AMEN.