STELLA'S RANDOM THOUGHTS!!!

i want to break free
i want total disconnection from the world im in, from the people around me
i want to go to a place where nobody knows me
i want a total shutdown of communication

i dont want to know more
what i know is already enough
for its better not to know, because just like what they always say:
what i dont know would not hurt me
and its true...
so far, the things that i know is hurting me like a knife stabbing  my heart,
and the wound just wouldnt heal
the bleeding doesnt stop

been living, feeling this way for quite a while now
and the hard part is, i know what to do, yet im not doing the right thing
it's like i keep holding on to a tree branch which i know will soon break,
     and i know, down there, there's no one to catch me
and there's no one to blame but me

i never thought that ill be in this situation
i dont want to be like the others
i dont want to be like them
i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings


i have to leave
i cant stay here anymore
im loosing respect to myself and that's the most difficult thing
because when that happens, i cant ask others to respect me

im so tired
i cant think
i cant work
yet im feeling different emotions, mixed emotions. so mix that my brain couldnt process it anymore
my mind says - leave!
yet my heart is breaking just by the thought of it

im running out of words to say..
im gasping for air to breath..
its like im running after the wind...

im tired
so tired that i want to end it all.

Who is Stella? I wonder what's her real name... Who is she... I know !!! But i cant reveal her name!!!...

Whats wrong with her?... Whats bothering her? We will find out soon... I hope!!!