Lonely...

I am lonely not because I am alone... I am sad not because I am saddened by something... I am being pushed down when everyone around me is pushing me up... I feel bloated when I haven't eaten at all... I feel things, things that shouldn't be felt... unwanted feelings, unclear emotions...is starting to develop... starting to erupt.

I kept on telling myself that I am strong... I kept on wearing my mask... the happy mask I'm on. but beneath the facade an unhappy face... a lonely smile. A smile... smile that's undistinguished... unknown... abnormal. a smile that can fool anyone. is this the mask that I am supposed to wear... or the face that I am supposed to hide?

I didn't know that a smile can be as complicated if its worn by me.