Changes...

Its hard accepting changes around us... I know because ive been dealing with a lot of it lately and all I can do to cope up is to spend more time with the people I love.

Last weekend... the entire family went out on a trip to the beach... since we have 2 dogs and my mom is on a wheelchair we need a resort that can accomodate dogs, one thats near, one that can accomodate me cooking and the most important is theres a private bathroom for my mom. Well shes not maarte but shes on a wheelchair and it will be better if we can do toilet stuff in private and we have 2 todlers with us.

I found a couple... initial plan is an overnight outing so we could spend more time together but my sister couldnt confirm her schedule for an overnighter but she can squeeze in a daytour. So the date is set and since we decided on a daytour vacation we opted for cavite instead of batangas... i know the beaches there is not perfect but it suited our needs so dedma na the beauty of the beach and go na for a family bonding.

May 30... everything went out smoothly excpet for my sister being late and my reservation might be cancelled but other than that the trip went out great. My third sibling and his wife will be leaving for Dubai in a months time and my youngest brother will be gone for police training this June so this trip will be our last trip together for this year. As the saying goes... make it count...and we did.

The trip was perfect... seeing all my siblings together in one place aside sa house is priceless... during that time... i havent fully accepted the change thats going to happen... im still in denial that my brothers plan might still change... so when opportunity knocks I grabbed it.

The opportunity:

Im still on VL after the trip to the beach... Cucci plans to celebrate his bday in their province for a change and celebrate with his cousins... I plan to follow since we really cant leave pepper alone with mom for more tha  one day... but both of us cant leave pepper alone at all so his father picked us up so we could bring pepper. Since Papi (Thats what we call cucci's dad) will bring a big car i decided to bring mom along and my two youngest brother with me so we could drop by Manaoag Church. My mom and her friends used to visit this church before and that was a very long time ago... and its nice to bring her back after her stroke. So when the plan was all settled off we go for another roadtrip. 

After church we will be staying with Cucci's family to celebrate his bday... for two days me mom and my two brothers will be staying in one room lol riot... and indeed as planned riot nga.

I worry a lot, I got that from my mom... having a stroke survivor in a car with two young adults and a puppy is so tiring... hahahahaha.

During he celebration... it hit me... our youngest brother will very soon be away from us... a 1 year police training with no contact at all is very hard... this will be the hardeat to deal with... with my sister its understandable she has her own family now to take care off... for my other brother hes going to work abroad for his future yes but communication is still open so less transition period but a family member who we will not have any contact with is unacceptable even if i understand that thats what he wants i still cant grasp the idea.

Now im here cant sleep on the floor of Cucci's brothers room while my mom and brother sleeps on the bed... thinking what did i do wrong... 

In a few days my youngest brother will leave for his training... in more or less 30 days my other brother will be leaving abroad. My sister is not home with us and i just feel sooo alone.

A big change it is.

We spend time preparing for things to happen but when the day draws near... we who we thought is well prepared is the most devasted.