Takot ako eh

TAKOT AKO E!!!

4:30 AM, pagkatapos ng trabaho… nagpasya ako na umuwi ng maaga at magpahinga… sa pagnanais na makauwi agad, nagpasya ako na mag jeep. Reason number 1, para makatipid… thinking it was almost 5 am and work is near lang naman di pa hassle. Reason number 2, ayan na ang jeep.

Walang tao, I was thinking… perfect I could really relax after a tiring day at work. Usually I sit at the back kasi  I wanna feel the breeze pero this time… huminto ang jeep in front of me… so sumakay ako sa harap. So the jeep has 3 passengers pa lang two at the back and me in front. We were cruising along buendia and nakakuha pa ng additional 5 passengers, so a total of 8. Since almost puno na ang jeep the driver decided to drive a little bit faster. A few meters where I need to go down, may tatlong guys na nag para sa jeep… BAD VIBES… I was wishing that wag sana sumakay sa harap ang isa kasi I’m about to go down hassle kung I will ask him to go down muna.

The next few minutes are still blurred memories kasi nga I was in front. To cut to the chase, the jeepney picked up the guys and while waiting for them to settle down… we heard a clicking sound. I was trying to remember that sound… I used to hear that sound in my dad’s room… and I looked up and viewed the backside through the mirror in front of me… and I’m correct it was a gun. I started thinking should I jump but I don’t have the energy to run anymore or should I stay. I don’t have my phone with me or any other things that would matter to the guys. So I decided to stay put. I was about to get my coin purse and hand it over once they approach or ask me for it when I saw a couple of passengers trying to fight them off. I was in shock that I didn’t notice how many girl passenger meron sa likod but what I saw was the longest 5 minutes of my life.

I guess the guys wanted it quick… to get it over and done with so they just hustled their way out… the two other guys are shouting “cell phones at bags nyo, labas nyo” since everyone is in a state of shock… nobody is listening attentively, I just prayed and wish “sana walang masaktan”. And then the inevitable happened… all throughout the ordeal I was examining the drivers’ expression. I could tell that he was also scared he tried to hide a small leather pouch underneath his seat, and couldn’t decide whether to continue driving or just stop. So we all waited for the longest 5 minutes to end.

Here I am, still sitting, waiting… waiting for a tap at my back asking for my things… preparing myself for anything… trying to think… trying to stay calm… in a few seconds, I noticed a glimpse of light… the guys are moving away… away from the lights, the lights that illuminated the vehicle… lights that they blocked when they started this chaos… by then I had the strength to look at the rear view mirror again… their going down… and all I can usher is “Finally”.

As I look at the people behind me I noticed that there was a girl… about to ride the jeep but when she saw what’s going on decided to run… in a matter of seconds the guy carrying a gun went down and started chasing her… the two other guys looking at their faces trying to decide whether to continue or to follow… and they opted for the latter. As I sit in front, I wish and pray for the driver to drive… thinking that the guys would come around and harassed me and the driver. Buti na lang naisip din ng driver yun… when the last person was about to go down he stepped on the gas and drove away.

As I mentioned earlier… this transpired a few meters away from the place where I need to go down…  so I told the driver “ dyan na lang sa tabi”. In front of the convenient store where I usually wait for a tricycle is a police station… I was thinking should I report or not… at dun pumasok ang takot… kaba… at pagiging makasarili sa aking isip. I thank God the second the jeep drove off… my hands are shaking… and I just have enough energy to walk and sit in a waiting tricycle.

I lit up a cigarette, nanginginig pa rin… I wanted to cry… I feel weak… feeling a little stupid… I was thanking God but I did nothing else…  here I am… Scared.

My first time experiencing it, at di ko inakala na ganun play un… I hear stories about it and I can only say “If I am in your shoes…. “But this time I was there… shucks and I can’t get over it.

Every time I close my eyes… naririnig ko ang kasa ng baril… every time I try to fall asleep I wonder what happened to that girl who run away… every time I smoke… I remember the uneasiness that I felt… every time I try to move on… it suck me back in. I was scared… I am STILL scared.